Kingdom Hearts Forgotten Memories: A MarySue Story
by Nerdsbane
Summary: A parody of Mary Sues, suethors, and other generally stupid things set in the Kingdom Hearts universe.
1. Dark Clouds Gathering

**A/N: I totes don't own Kingdom Hearts, but I wish I did. It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOO kawaii! This statement will in no way protect me from any kind of legal action, but I'm mentally incapacitated and don't realize it. ^_^**

It was another sunny, awesome, super fabulous day in the world of Destiny Garden. The sun was slowly rising over the mountains, and the chirping of birds could be heard for miles around.

At 7:00am, an alarm clock began going off in an elaborate, white marble mansion (even though it would chemically react with impurities in rainwater, but STFU and stop questioning mah logic, kthnx.) lined with solid gold. The alarm was going off in the fifth floor bedroom of a drop-dead gorgeous sixteen year-old girl. She opened her beautiful sea green eyes with flecks of amber and red in them, leaned over, and turned off the alarm.

She got out of bed and allowed her shoulder blade-length ebony black hair with pink tips fall down her back. Her hairstyle and colors totally weren't ridiculous, and everyone always told her how pretty it was. She looked in her mirror, observing how delicate and totally hawt her pale white skin made her look. After she was done admiring her indescribable beauty, she went to her ten thousand square foot walk-in closet to pick out an outfit.

She decided to wear a white, sleeveless, form-fitting shirt with ni (that's Japanese for two!) pink straps across the chest in an "x" shape. Sooooo kawaii, desu ne? She also put on some black, fingerless gloves, black skintight shorts that went down to her mid thigh, and a white belt-type thing with a skirt type thing on the back that went to about knee level. She also put on her black combat boot and her favorite silver heart-shaped necklace with a sea-green heart in the middle. This outfit wasn't ridiculous _at all, _and it made her look totes hawt.

The girl merrily skipped out the door of her bedroom and headed downstairs. She took the elevator, of course, because she is rich and has an elevator in her house.

"Good morning, miss," her butler, Chives, greeted her in his British accent when she got off the elevator on the first floor.

She didn't respond to him at all, though, since he's soooo below her. She walked out the front door and headed towards the road.

This tooooootalllllly sexy bitch's name was Jesyca Shouhu Erika Manuke, and she was the coolest person ever. School was canceled today because of a staph outbreak, so she was going to meet up with her two best friends at the park to hang out. If school was in today, she would've been wearing her school uniform, which is a Japanese school uniform just like Kairi's in KH2 because the author of this totally cool story is an uncreative dumbass.

She continued towards the park, singing the lyrics to "Easy Breezy" by Utada, which was one of her favorite songs. (A/N: J-pop is sooooooooooo cool! If you don't like it, then GTFO!)

"You're easy-breeeeeeeeeezy, and I'm Japanesey!" she merrily sang in her amazing singing voice. She had been offered a record deal once by a record executive who just so happened to be driving by one day who had heard her singing, but she had refused. She just didn't want the attention because she was so humble and noble and stuff.

After a few minutes, Jesyca arrived at the park. She saw her two bestest friends in the whole wide world, Marina Migurushi and Kareshi Kyosu. They were sitting in a gazebo. Jesyca approached them.

"Hey Jesyca!" ecstatically exclaimed Kareshi, who was super excited to see Jesyca, the coolest person EVAR! He was sixteen years old and had shaggy brown hair and piercing cyan blue eyes. He had an athletic build and tanned skin from playing sports ball and shooty hoops and stuff in the outside. He was wearing a tight black muscle shirt and baggy black pants with a red line up the side of each leg. He was also wearing black tennis shoes. He totally had a crush on Jesyca, but Jesyca only loved him like a brother.

"OMG Jesyca! You look super kawaii today!" exclaimed Marina. She was also sixteen, like Jesyca. She had dark, blue-greenish hair and eyes, She was wearing a black leather sleevelsss shirt, a scarf like Lea's in KH: BbS (but it was gray), ripped blue jeans, and black high-heeled boots. She wasn't as pretty or cool as Jesyca, and always wished she could be just like her.

"Hajimemashite!" Jesyca happily greeted her two friends. (A/N: Hajimemashite mean "hello" in Japanese!111!1! ^_^)

The three of them began to talk and laugh in the middle of the beautiful park, surrounded by the flowers, water, and chirping birds. Little did they know, however, that dark clouds were gathering on the horizon.

**Ok, that was… interesting to write. I will likely not update this often, as the other two stories I have been working on (Lameos and Pokemon Delusional Version) are still on hiatus. The only reason I even had time to write this was because it's Fall break. This is going to be yet another of my Mary Sue parodies, this time, of course, grilling the Kingdom Hearts suethors. Jesyca, as you can tell by this chapter, is wapanese, and she will be blatantly misusing Japanese throughout this story. (For example, "hajimemashite" is used when introducing yourself to someone. She should've used "ohayou.") If anyone can spot some of the hidden commentary about the characters in here, you get a gold star. (Not really. But I doubt anyone finds it anyway.)**


	2. A Totally Original Chapter

**A/N: OMG! Thnx gaiz for all of teh reviews!11!1 ^_^ I'll give u cookies and pies nd stuff! Just keep on giving me asspats plz!11!1!**

Jesyca, Kareshi, and Marina were still sitting in the gazebo. They were talking about anime, manga, j-pop, and how cool and pretty Jesyca is.

"Oh, I wish I could be as super kawaii as you, Jesyca," sadly sighed Marina.

"Well, no one can be as kawaii as me, desu ne! So don't feel bad, cuz you're not alone!" cheerfully replied Jesyca in her beautiful voice.

Marina instantly cheered up.

All of a sudden, Jesyca's eyes narrowed, and she turned her head. "Do you guys feel that?" she asked her bestest friends.

"Feel what?" they both simultaneously asked. "We aren't nearly as in tune with nature and our senses and stuff as you, Jesyca, because we haven't been training since we were five years… no, we mean five DAYS old." (A/N: Isn't Jesyca so cool? She can sense things others can't. She's the best!1!1)

"Something's coming…" replied Jesyca darkly.

The three of them exited the gazebo and looked off into the distance. The most ebony-black, gloomy, sad, goffik, darkest clouds they had ever seen were rapidly covering the whole entire sky!

"What's going on?" wondered Marina.

"Look out!" yelled Jesyca as she shoved Marina and Kareshi out of the way. Jesyca then did an awesome series of backflips, barely dodging a purple lightning bolt that came down from the sky and hit where they were just standing. How Jesyca managed to toss two people several feet and execute those acrobatic skills, even though she never exercises, stays inside playing video games, and subsists on a diet of pocky and ramen, is a mystery. Oh, wait, no, I mean she trains every day but still does all of that too; she's just awesome. She just CAN do it, ok? STOP QUESTIONING MY LOGIC, FLAMERS!11! ur all just gelus of my amazing righting skilz!1!1!

"Wow! That was amazing, Jesyca! Thanks for saving us!" simultaneously stated her two friends again, as improbable as that seems.

"No problem!" replied Jesyca, still remaining completely alert, ready for anything.

All of a sudden, small black creatures came out of the ground and surrounded Jesyca, Kareshi, and Marina!

"Oh no!" cried Marina. "What will we do?"

"Jesyca! What should we do?" asked Kareshi in a panicked voice. Jesyca would have the answer! If anyone could save them, it was her!

"We fight," stated Jesyca, still keeping her calm.

"Ok!" the two of them replied, doing a complete emotional 180.

The three friends struggled valiantly against the creatures, but other than Jesyca's series of swift punches and kicks, learned through a lifetime of martial arts training, they weren't having much success. The creatures just kept on coming.

"RRRRRGGGGGH! It's no use!" cried Kareshi, trying to fight them off.

"AAAAUUUUGHH!" screamed Marina.

Jesyca and Kareshi rapidly turned around and saw Marina waist-deep in a black and purple swirling portal. She was quickly being sucked down into the darkness! If Jesyca didn't do something soon, she was done for!

Jesyca rushed towards Marina, reaching for her hand. She grabbed it just in the nick of time and pulled her out!

"Thanks Jesyca!" exclaimed marina with a sigh of relief. "I'm stupid and helpless, and without you, I would've been a goner!"

"Yep. Good thing I was here," replied Jesyca, the two of them _completely _ignoring the surrounding danger all of a sudden to have this stupid little conversation to make you, stupid, asspat-providing readers, see just how totally awesome my self-insert Mary Sue- I MEAN, JESYCA- really is.

"Jesyca! Help me!" cried Kareshi.

Jesyca turned back around to face him, but it was too late- he sank into another dark portal, and then it closed.

"Kareshi! Oh no!" said Jesyca.

"What will we do?" hysterically cried Marina.

Jesyca angrily closed her beautiful sea green eyes. "We'll find him," she stated.

Just then, as Marina was about to respond, another portal appeared around her in an instant and closed just as quickly. Jesyca was all alone now. (A/N: This TOTES isn't a parallel for my lonely, pathetic, emo real life! I'm super kawaii and cool desu! I have A MILLION BILLION friends at school, and I was homecoming queen and I'm on the cheerleading squad! No, wait, I mean I'm the captain of the cheerleading squad!11111!1!1! I'm SUPA COOL BIZNITCHES!11111 ^_^)

"Kareshi… Marina…" sadly said Jesyca as she fell to her knees. "What will I do?"

The creatures completely surrounded her now, getting ready to take her down. The entire world of Destiny Garden was breaking apart and falling into darkness. (A/N: it looks just like the scene in KH1 where Destiny Islands is breaking apart, but with my own totally original world which ISN'T a cross between my hometown, my dream life, and various KH worlds. Isn't it great how I can state that in an author's note instead of using descriptive language like a real writer? LOL!)

As the dark creatures closed in on her, all of a sudden, a bright light appeared in Jesyca's hand.

"What?" she wondered aloud. "What power is this? I feel… stronger! People totally talk like this in real life!"

Seeing this light, the dark creatures slowed their advance, though not by much.

The light manifested itself into a key shape, then died down. In her right hand, jesyca was holding a sword that was shaped like a key. It was black, pink, and silver, with three pink and black petal shapes forming the teeth of the key. The keychain was also this three-petal shape. The name "Crown of Guilt" popped into her head.

"Jesyca…" said a faint voice.

"Wha-? Who's there?" she asked, completely ignoring the danger around her again to have a conversation.

"You, Jesyca Shouhu Erika Manuke, have been chosen to be a Keyblade bearer," the voice replied. "Only you possess the strength and skills to travel the worlds and triumph over the darkness."

"Okey-dokey, random voice!" responded Jesyca. "A Keyblade, huh? Ok, let's try this!"

Jesyca made quick work of the dark creatures with her Keyblade. Even though she had only had it for two minutes, she was already _incredibly skilled _at using it to fight.

As she basked in her super cool victory over her foes, the ground began to rumble. The biggest dark portal she had seen so far, this one black, red, and other colors, was in the sky, sucking everything up. Jesyca tried to hold on to something, but she couldn't. She, along with her entire world, were sucked into the darkeness.

_Later…_

Jesyca slowly opened her eyes. She was sitting in an unfamiliar alley, her keyblade still clutched in her hand.

"Where am I?" she asked herself, because talking to yourself is what normal, sane people do.


	3. A New World, and Sparkles!

**A/N: Thnx gaiz 4 all the reviews!11! I need at least 3 good 1s or I wlii not update!11111!11**

Jesyca dragged herself off of the ground, keyblade still in hand, and stood up. She was standing in an unfamiliar alleyway. She brushed all of the super icky dirt off of her kawaii outfit, which she had ordered online from Nippon (that's Japanese for Japan!11!11! ^_^), and began walking forward.

"What is this place?" she asked herself out loud as she walked into the main plaza of what she now saw was a town.

"This must be another world!" she exclaimed in her beautiful voice. Isn't she so smart and cool? She figured out it was another world in a heartbeat!

It wasn't pretty and perfect like her home world, she noticed. For one thing, nearly everything was a shade of brown, from the cobblestone walkways to the facades of the buildings. She looked up at the sky, which was dark and twinkling with stars.

"I guess I should explore this new world and look for Marina and Kareshi," she stated with determination. "Goodness knows that those two bakas will never last without me there to protect them, though I do ai (that's Japanese for love!11!) them dearly." She then began to walk around.

After a few minutes of exploring the plaza and asking around using her expert investigative skills, she discovered that that the world she was now in was known as Traverse Town. Unfortunately, no one in the current area, known as the first district, has seen Kareshi or Marina. She proceeded through a large door to look in the other districts.

"Hmm, this must be the second district," she said to herself. She could see a bell tower on top of a large blue building in the distance. Around the main plaza, there was an elevated walkway ringed with shops, hotels, and such.

All of a sudden, the same black creatures that had attacked her before crawled out of the ground!

"Oh, you want some more, huh?" Jesyca sarcastically taunted the creatures before taking her badass battle pose. (A/N: Her battle pose looks JUST like Riku's in the games! I am _so _original and creative!)

Jesyca swiftly lashed out at the nearest one with her super cool black, silver, and pink keyblade, causing it to evaporate into darkness. Two more then lunged at her, but she dodged just in time with a series of cartwheels that only she had the skills to do, then backflipped over them, striking them down with her keyblade before her feet touched the ground.

"Three down, three more to go," said Jesyca with a smirk.

All of a sudden, she heard the voice from earlier that had told her that she was the chosen keybearer for the Crown of Guilt. "Why don't you try using magic?" Jesyca thought she heard it say.

'What? Magic? I mean, I am super awesome and special and stuff, so it makes sense that I have magic, but I can use magic?" she asked, once again completely ignoring the creatures that were trying to kill her.

"Yes," replied the voice. "You, Jesyca Shouhu Erika Manuke, can use magic to defeat your enemies as well! All you must do is focus your energies and believe in yourself _super hard!"_

"Okey-dokey, random voice! Thanks again!" cheerfully exclaimed Jesyca. She aimed her keyblade towards the three shadowy creatures, which, for some odd reason, were still just standing there, not doing anything, instead of attacking Jesyca while she was babbling on like an idiot. (A/N: SHE IS NOT AN IDIOT!1!1! Stop flamming!11!11 Halp, rviewrs!111 Make the meenie go way!111!)

While continuing to aim her keyblade, Jesyca focused all of her finely-honed spiritual energies, obtained from daily meditation her whole entire freaking life, and believed in herself super duper hard. All of a sudden, a ball of fire shot towards her enemies, exploding and taking them out in sparkly fiery awesomeness!

"Oh wow! A fire spell! I am the best mage ever!" cheerfully exclaimed Jesyca, who was obviously quite proud of herself for crapping out the most basic form of magic. It was an _amazing _fire spell; the flames were purple, blue, white, pink, black, and green with gold sparkles trailing behind it, and when it hit, it made a small, rainbow explosion that looked like a friggin Care Bear had gotten hammered and thrown up or something!

"Super kawaii desu ne!" exclaimed Jesyca with glee. "Wait 'til Kareshi and Marina hear about what I can do!"

Upon close observation, one of the creatures had dropped something. It was a small, star-shaped object. It looked crystalline in nature, and, as it was shiny, Jesyca obviously went and picked it up.

"What is this?" she asked herself as she made her keyblade disappear, which, though she had never done so before, didn't freak her out in the slightest.

"Looks like you found yourself a star shard," said a voice coming from the door to the first district which Jesyca had come from a short while ago.

Hearing this, Jesyca turned around to face the stranger.

A/N: OK!1! I hope u guys leiked it!1!11 Like I said, I need 3 gud revews or I will nt updatee!1!1

** Unlike most of my other parodies, I'm writing this one as I go along. In addition, I'm going to treat chapters the way most suethors do, rather than the way real authors and myself normally do, in that there will be several dozen small chapters with plot points being raised and dropped at a constant rate, rather than, y'know, about twenty-five long, good, concise chapters. In addition, Crown of Guilt is an actual keyblade that appeared in Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days. I thought about making up an absolutely awful-sounding, ridiculous keyblade like roughly 66% of suethors do, but, in the end, I decided to be lazy. Jesyca may find a keychain later on that gives her a "super cool, awesome, kawaii, unique, etc, etc" keyblade later on though.**


	4. Shouhu No Yoko Ni Serina Ga Imasu

Jesyca turned to look at the stranger who had just addressed her. It was a girl, who was the exact same age as her (how Jesyca knew this, even though the girl has not stated her age, doesn't matter, because the author of this totally cool story thinks logic and reason are boooooooring).

"Who are you?" Jesyca asked the girl.

"My name is Serina Aiyami!" cheerfully exclaimed the girl. (A/N: Erin! That's you!11!1 Erin is my BFF!111!) She had waist length, perfectly straight blond hair, red eyes that were orange around the pupils and had green and gold lines in them, a dark blue sleeveless shirt, ripped blue jeans, black combat boots, three black belts covered in silver studs around her waist, and a black, knee-length trench coat type thing.

"I'm Jesyca Shouhu Erika Manuke!" replied Jesyca.

"Wow! What a kawaii name!" exclaimed Serina.

"Thanks. It's awesome, desu ne?" replied Jesyca. "So, tell me Serina, what do you know about this star shard?"Jesyca was an expert on most things, but, as she had never heard of a star shard in her lifelong studies, she was unaware of what it is or what it did.

"It's a magical artifact that can only be used by those with noble and pure hearts," replied Serina. "It whisks those who wield it off to different worlds in order to go right wrongs and fight the darkness."

"Well, there's no one more noble and pure-hearted than me!" replied Jesyca. "I am the most noblest, pure-heartedest, beautifulest, awesomest…" She went on with adjectives describing herself for several hours.

Later…

"…Smartest, coolest, badass keyblade wielder there ever was!" jesyca finally stopped talking.

"Wow, you're a keyblade wielder! That's sooooooo cool!" ecstatically replied Serina, who had been standing there listening to Jesyca the whole time, even though a normal person would have walked off ages ago.

"Yeah, I know," replied Jesyca.

"I use my kunai knives to fight," said Serina, who was wielding several knives in her hands just like Larxene from Organization XIII, but they were kunais like in Naruto. (A/N: Naruto is the coolest anime EVAR!11! The animation and plot lines don't suck AT ALL!1! If you don't like it, then GTFO!1!1!)

"Wow, that's very cool," replied Jesyca. "I myself have undergone countless hours of ninja training."

"Me too!" replied Serina. "Would you like to train together for awhile?"

"Ok," replied Jesyca as she summoned her keyblade.

"Wow! Your keyblade is so coooooool!" cheerfully exclaimed Serina.

"Thanks," replied Jesyca. "Don't expect me to go easy on you."

With that, the two girls began battling! Serina began by throwing a handful of kunai at Jesyca, which she expertly blocked with her keyblade.

"Fire!" yelled Jesyca in her beautiful voice that was _nothing _akin to nails on a chalkboard as she launched one of her super beautiful, unique, and special fire spells at Serina.

Serina attempted to dodge the fireball, but it narrowly grazed her, causing her some pain. She then ninja flipped behind Jesyca and attempted to ninja scratch Jesyca using her ninja kunai like ninja claws in order to ninja attack. Jesyca expertly deflected each of Serina's blows before counter-attacking with a mighty swing of her keyblade, which sent Serina flying into the wall.

"Looks like I win!" said Jesyca. It was _obvious _that she would, since she was so skilled.

"Wow, you're really powerful," said Serina as she dragged herself off the ground.

"Thanks," said Jesyca.

The two of them battled several more times after that. Jesyca won every time, as everyone knew she would, since she's so awesome.

Later…

"So, you said you're going to go fight the darkness with your keyblade?" inquired Serina.

"Yes," replied Jesyca. "My home world, Destiny Garden, was attacked by the Heartless and fell to the darkness. It was a totally kawaii world, and everyone there thought I was cool, beautiful, and awesome. Before it was destroyed, my two best friends, Marina Migurushi and Kareshi Kyosu, were sucked into portals of darkness. I then received the keyblade, and was told that I am the only one with the strength and skills to combat the darkness. Now, I'm travelling from world to world to do just that."

"Wow, cool!" exclaimed Serina.

"Yeah, I know. It's quite cool, desu," replied Jesyca.

Later…

Jesyca and Serina were at a café in the first district. They were enjoying a delicious lunch of ramen, sushi, and pocky. How Jesyca had time to do this, when she was tasked with saving the worlds and finding her friends, makes no sense whatsoever, but, as this story is so super cool, it doesn't matter.

The two of them had been talking for quite some time about anime, the Heartless, the darkness, and other stuff.

"Hey, Jesyca…" said Serina.

"Nani?" asked Jesyca. (Nani means what in Japanese!11!1! ^_^)

"The star shard…"

Jesyca looked down at the star shard on the table sitting next to her finished bowls of ramen. It was emitting a faint blue light.

"Ooooooh! Pretty pretty shiny!" exclaimed Jesyca like a retard as she picked it up.

All of a sudden, the star shard carried her off in a zig-zagging blue light! Bet you weren't expecting that, even though it's exactly what it did in BbS!

**A/N: OK! I hope u all lieked it!11! Did you like the cliff hanger? I am too dum to realize that a cliff hanger is something unexpected, not cutting off teh seen or doing sumthing expected. Tell me in ur reveews what wurld Jesyca should visit!11! It cant actoolly effect wat world I pick, but I think giving a façade of reader intereaction will give me more asspats!1! r nd r ppl!11!**


	5. The Land of Dragons Part 1

Jesyca woke up on the ground in an unfamiliar place. Her star shard was on the ground in front of her. She picked it up and put it in her pocket as she stood up and dusted herself off.

"Hmm, I wonder what world the star shard has brought me to?" she wondered aloud. She was standing in the middle of a path lined with bamboo.

"I must be in a bamboo forest," she said to herself as she began searching for the Heartless that she was destined to defeat in this world.

She walked down the path for several minutes, singing J-pop songs to herself as she walked onwards. After awhile, she saw a girl and a small, red dragon talking.

"Hi," she greeted them. "My name is Jesyca Shouhu Erika Manuke. I'm a keyblade master. Have you guys seen any Heartless around here?"

"Wow, that is a very nice name," replied the girl. "No, I have not seen any Heartless for awhile, though there may be some on the mountain."

"Ok, thanks," replied Jesyca. "Where is this yama that you speak of?" (Yama is Japanese for mountain! ^_^)

"If you go up the mountain pass and beyond the nearby village, you'll be there," stated the dragon.

"Ok, thanks guys!" cheerfully replied Jesyca as she walked off.

"No problem! You're so cool and pretty!" the girl and the dragon stated with glee.

Jesyca walked past an empty military encampment; all of the soldiers must have been out on patrol, even though they never actually leave encampments completely empty in real life, but shut up and stop questioning my logic, m'kay?

All of a sudden, Jesyca heard shouting. She saw several people running into the encampment with numerous Heartless, including Nightwalkers, Neoshadows, Air Pirates, and Assault Riders chasing them.

"The Heartless have breached the checkpoint!" she could hear them yelling. She stood there calmly like a total badass as these grown men, who are trained for battle, ran past her like little wusses.

A Nightwalker lunged at Jesyca, but, before it could hit her, she had summoned her keyblade and destroyed it in one powerful hit!

"You bakas are goin' down!" said Jesyca with a smirk.

Two Neoshadows jumped out of the ground and began spinning like ninja shuriken at Jesyca. She quickly backflipped out of the way and smacked one of them out of the air with her keyblade before leaping into the air and stabbing straight down with both hands as she landed on top of it, destroying it.

"Fire!" she yelled as she cast one of her beautiful fire spells at the other Neoshadow that had attacked her and was now coming back around and running at her. The flames flickered in the gorgeous orbs that were her eyes as it blew the Neoshadow to smithereens.

Jesyca then used Strike Raid by throwing her keyblade at a group of Assault Riders like a boomerang. It returned to her hand and she backflipped over them, hitting each one as she flipped. Once she landed on her feet, she held her keyblade overhead.

"Aero!" she yelled as she casted a spell using wind magic. Wind spiraled up all around her, blowing her beautiful black hair with pink tips all around, making her look really freaking hawt. The spell also happened to destroy the Assault Riders.

Jesyca made quick work of the rest of the Heartless with her keyblade. When she had defeated them all, the leader of the soldiers came out of hiding and walked up to her.

"That was amazing!" he exclaimed. "Clearly, you are the best fighter in the history of ever, and you're super cool and pretty, too! And you're not fat at all and have tons of friends at school, and everybody likes you! What is your name, warrior?"

"My name is Jesyca Shouhu Erika Manuke!" replied Jesyca.

"I am Shang. I am the leader of the Emperor of this world's soldiers," replied the man.

All of a sudden, Jesyca realized the man was Asian, and instantly assumed he was Japanese.

"Ah, well, it is very nice to meet you, Shang-san," she replied. "Tell me, is there a good pocky store around here, since all of you are Asian?"

"Hmmm…" Shang wondered aloud. "Well, there may be one next to the anime store that they totally have in the Imperial City. You should come there with us! We need your protection on the way back, plus I want to introduce you to the Emperor for saving us."

"Ok!" replied Jesyca. She didn't really _want _the attention for being a hero from the Emperor, who would likely want to reward her with _money _and _jewels _and all kinds of other stuff, but she would go and receive said attention and rewards anyway.

Jesyca, Shang, and the soldiers then merrily headed through the checkpoint and towards the Imperial City, even though Jesyca was originally going to the mountain peak to destroy the Heartless, but that could totally wait while Jesyca spent time with a kawaii Asian guy and got more money to make her even richer than she already was.

"Ok, we're here!" exclaimed Shang when they arrived.

Jesyca and Shang walked up the stairs of the Imperial Palace and headed inside.

**A/N: I wish I knew an Aisan! Then I would have someone to speak Nipppongo (that's Japanese for Japanses!) with, which is something I can clearly do. **私はコピーを使用している間抜けだと私は日本語を話す人々を説得しようとして貼り付けます。この文をコピーして日本の翻訳のための恐ろしいですGoogle翻訳、から貼り付けられます。

**See? I speak Nippongo. And I TOTES didn't just use Google Translate, either, so don't try to be a flamer and say I did. You all are just jealous of my writing and the fact that I can speak Japanese. Now, Imma go eat pocky and ramen and watch Naruto! Sayonara!11!111 ^_^**


	6. All Ur Palace Are Belong to Mary Sue

**A/N: Stop flamming flamers!11! If u dnot like my story, then don't read!111!1! ITS SIMPLE AS THAT!1! Thnx 2 all the ppl who are giving me asspats by saying my story is super cool and good, and I'm the bestest and stuff. Now, GIVE ME MOAR ASSPATS!111!1!**

Shang told his soldiers to wait outside and guard the palace as he and Jesyca walked up the palace steps. They opened the gigantic doos and walked in.

"This palace is almost as nice and as big as my house," stated Jesyca.

Jesyca and Shang then entered the throne room. Upon the throne, an old man with a wispy beard that Jesyca expertly determined was the emperor was sitting. Really? She's so skilled she determined that the guy sitting on the throne, which is inside the throne room of the imperial palace, is the emperor? WOW!11! Isn't she a-freaking-mazing?

"Emperor! This incredibly sexy warrior saved me and my troops from the Heartless," Shang said to the emperor.

"Is this true?" asked the Emperor.

"Yep," replied Jesyca. "I defeated like fifty Heartless with my Keyblade and saved your troops."

"I see," replied the Emperor. "Well, in that case, I must reward you. I will give you a million billion munny, as well as a new magic spell. And your own palace in this world. And a lifetime supply of pocky. And a pony."

"Ok, thanks," replied Jesyca.

With a wave of his hand, a kawaii pink light enveloped Jesyca, even though it has never been implied that the Emperor can use magic.

"You can now use Water spells to cause water to erupt from under an enemy, even though water isn't a big theme in this world or for any of the characters in this world, so it makes _no _sense for me to teach you this," stated the Emperor.

"Ok, thanks," said Jesyca. "So, where is this palace you have given me? I would like to set it up as a base for this world and those surrounding it."

"It is at the top of the mountain, overlooking the Imperial City from a cliff," he replied.

"Ok," said Jesyca. "I needed to head there anyways to stop the Heartless." She and Shang then left. Wasn't she just _sooo _respectful to the Emperor?

"I am going to go scale that taco (A/N: that's Japanese for tall!) yama (A/N: that's Japanese for mountain!), explore my new palace, and stop some Heartless. Shang, would you like to join my party while I am in this world?" Jesyca asked once they had exited the imperial palace.

"Sure!" replied Shang enthusiastically. "Even though I have incredibly important duties, I'll drop everything to go with you!"

"Ok, cool,' replied Jesyca.

Jesyca and her new Asian party member then left the Imperial City.

After walking for a bit, they entered the checkpoint area. All of a sudden, Heartless appeared!

"Heh. Guess I get to try my new spell out," said Jesyca with a smirk as she summoned her Keyblade.

Shang drew his sword nervously. "I hope we can beat them. I'll try not to get in your way, Jesyca-san," he said after nervously drawing his sword, which _totally _isn't out of character.

"Water!" Jesyca shouted as she waved her Keyblade at a Nightwalker, causing a geyser to erupt from beneath it, destroying it. She then dashed at a Neoshadow and executed a vicious combo of hits with her Keyblade, destroying it as well.

Shang tried to hit an Air Pirate with his sword, but it just flew out of the way before knocking him to the ground with a punch. It totally makes sense that he, a well-trained warrior, is so much worse at fighting than Jesyca, a sixteen year-old girl.

Jesyca smashed the Air Pirate with her Keyblade, allowing Shang to not get killed. Isn't that nice of her?

Jesyca then leaped in the air and did a spinning kick at a Nightwalker, sending it flying before blasting one of her gorgeous, multicolored Fire spells at it, blowing it up in rainbow sparkly awesomeness!

"Water!" Jesyca yelled when she landed on the ground, causing multiple geysers to erupt under an Assault Rider and some Neoshadows, instantly destroying them because Jesyca is so powerful and cool and awesome and stuff.

"Wow, you're really powerful!" Shang complemented Jesyca.

"Yeah, I know. I have been training my whole life, so I am an expert at all forms of combat desu," Jesyca replied matter-of-factly. "Let us continue towards my new palace."

The two of them headed up the mountain pass, defeating all of the Heartless they saw along the way. Well, actually, Jesyca defeated all of the Heartless, because she's the bestest fighter.

After awhile, they arrived in a small, snow-covered village. The snow crunched under Jesyca's kawaii combat boots as she proceeded through it, snowflakes gathering in her ebony black hair (with pink tips!11!). Strangely, even though she's pretty much only wearing spandex shorts and a sleeveless shirt, she wasn't freezing to death or anything. Isn't that great and not totally weird and/or defying the laws of physics?

As they walked through, Shang told her about the time the whole village had been burned down by Shan Yu and his army of Heartless.

"Oh no!" exclaimed Jesyca. "That's awful! If he was still around, I'd knock that baka into next year with my powers! Even though he's dead, and this occurred quite some time ago, I have to make a big freaking deal of being told about this so the readers of this super cool fan fic understand what a good person with a strong sense of justice I am!"

Some time later, the two of them reached the top of the mountain and saw Jesyca's new palace situated on the edge of a very takai cliff. It was a super okey (that's Japanese for big! ^_^) Japanese-style palace with black outer walls with red columns. It also glowed in a faint pink light, and it had a solid gold sidewalk leading up to the door. In addition, there were a _ton _of servants there, and they were all Asian and knew how to make ramen and sushi just the way Jesyca liked it. Also, there was a ginormous statue of Jesyca in the courtyard, and under it said "Jesyca, the Kawaii, Sexy, Cool, and Powerful Guardian of the Land of Dragons." Also, it was floating. And had freaking lasers shooting out of the roof.

Jesyca casually strolled up to the door and entered her new palace.


	7. Jesyca Vs a Dustflier In Land of Dragons

Jesyca entered the gi-freaking-normous doors of her sugoi (Japanese for awesome!) new palace.

"Good afternoon, miss," said her butler, Chives, in his British accent. She didn't respond to him though because he's soooooo below her.

She skipped up the marble stairs and went to her new bedroom. Everything in the 20,000 square foot room was in very kawaii shades of pink and black. In addition, there was a PS3 with all Square Enix games, a Wii, a PSP, a 3DS, a 100" TV, a pool, a petting zoo, and a hottub in the room.

"Cool," said Jesyca upon seeing all of this. She then spent five straight hours playing video games and watching anime as her Japanese servants brought her sushi and pocky to eat.

After playing video games and watching anime for hours and hours, Jesyca decided to take a nap. She put on her kawaii pink silk nightgown and climber in her super gigantic king-sized bed and went to sleep. While she was asleep, she had a dream about Justin Bieber! It was awesome! (A/N: He's _totes _the best singer ever!111! If u dnot like him, ur just gealus cuz he can sing gud nd all of the girls like him!11! GTFO haters!111!)

Jesyca later awoke to Shang yelling outside, where she had left him for several hours. "Jesyca! Come quickly!" he shouted loudly. "There are lots of Heartless!"

Jesyca quickly leaped from her bed to her maddow (that's Japanese for window) and looked outside to see Shang and her servants fighting off _hundreds _of Heartless! Many of her servants has fallen to them. If Jesyca didn't get out there and save them, they were done for, and the Heartless might mess up her palace! She had to do something!

Jesyca backflipped out the window and did a serious of amazing acrobatic twirls and flips that only she could do and landed on her feet. Somehow, she was fully dressed in her regular clothes when she landed. She summoned her Keyblade, Crown of Guilt, and charged into the Heartless.

She smashed several that were on top of Shang and helped him up.

"Thanks Jesyca!" he said gratitudusly. "I would've been a goner if it weren't for you!"

"No problem," replied Jesyca. "Now, I'm going to teach the baka a-holes who they're messing with!" With that, Jesyca leaped into the air high over the Heartless. She almost seemed to hover right about the very middle of them. She held her Keyblade high in the air straight up.

"Aeroga!" she yelled as an enormous whirlwind blew up from beneath her, destroying all of the Hearltess and blowing her hair and skirt thingy around cooly and sexily. Jesyca then floated back down to the ground on the receding wind spell.

"Wow! That was amazing Jesyca!" Shang complemented her.

"Don't thank me just yet," Jesyca said, because she sensed something else coming. Some thing far more powerful and engulfed in darkness.

All of a sudden, a giant Heartless came flying over the treetops! It landed on its feet in front of Jesyca and Shang. It was a large dragon looking Hearltess. It was gray and brown. Jesyca could sense that it was very powerful.

"It's a Dustflier," said Jesyca.

"What's a Dustflier?" asked Shang.

"It is a very powerful flying Hearltess with incredibly powerful fire and meteor breath attacks," replied Jesyca.

(A/N: Dustlfier is the most powerful Heartless in Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days. I still cannot beat it in the game LOL!)

"Ok," replied Shang. "If anyone can beat it, it's you, Jesyca!" he stated confidently and happily.

The Dustflier did a spinning aero tackle at Jesyca like a drill. Jesyca held up her Keyblade and blocked it, both struggling to push the other. Then, with a mighty swing of her black and pink Keyblade, Jesyca sent the incredibly powerful Heartless flying!

"Hiiiya!" Jesyca yelled as she did this. She then used Strike Raid by throwing her Keyblade at the Heartless like a boomerang and hit it.

"Yeah! Go Jesyca!" happily cheered Shang.

"Fira!" Jesyca yelled as she launched a Fira spell with blue, purple, yellow, white, orange, pink, black, green, magenta, and aquamarine flames with gold sparkles trailing behind it at the Dustflier, which was _incredibly powerful _compared to other Heartless. The spell exploded in a rainbow of colors as it hit the Heartless.

"It's a good thing I'm here," Jesyca thought to herself as she began striking the Dustflier with her Keyblade. "No one else would be strong enough to stop this creature!"

Just then, the Dustlfier got in a good hit and smacked jesyca with its tail! Oh no! Jesyca went flying back ten feet. She looked down and she was bleeding.

"Jesyca!" yelled Shang with concern as he began running towards Jesyca to help her.

"No! Stay back!" she yelled. "Or it will get you too!" Isn't she so noble?

"I've just got to believe in myself," Jesyca said to herself as she closed her eyes. All of a sudden, green lights appeared above Jesyca's head… SHE HAD LEARNED CURE!11!

"Nani? What's this?" Jesyca asked. "Why, I can use Cure spells now! I feel better, and am fully healed! Ok, now, you baka Dustflier, you're goin' down!"

Jesyca then disappeared her Keyblade and began backflipping and stuff towards the Dustflier. Then, all of a sudden, she jumped in the air and summoned her Keyblade before diving straight into the Dustflier with it, causing a huge explosion!

"Jesyca!" yelled Shang as he ran towards where the explosion was.

But when the smoke cleared, Jesyca was standing there victoriously with her Keyblade on her shoulder! She looked like a complete badass, and even though she was just in an explosion and a thick cloud of smoke, she wasn't dirty or smelly at all! How cool!

"Wow, Jesyca! You defeated one of the most powerful Heartless there is! You're awesome!" complemented Shang.

"Yeah, yeah, I know desu," replied Jesyca.

All of a sudden, Jesyca's star shard in her pocket began glowing! It then began zigzagging her away in a blue light!

"I'll be back, Shang!" she yelled. "Guard my palace until then!"

"Ok!" replied Shang. "I'll stay here and guard your palace instead of doing my job as the Emperor's bodyguard because you're so cool and beautiful!"

And with that, Jesyca was off to the next world!

**A/N: Wat do u guys think? Is it good? Plz tell me its good. I have no life and no real friends, so I need ur asspats to make me feel good about myself. Wat world u think Jesyca going to go to nxet? R&R, ppl!111!**


	8. thru teh lOOCing glass

The next thing Jesyca knew, she was falling, as if she were falling down a hole. She did a series of very cool acrobatic flips, then landed at the bottom. She was standing in a circular room with a tile floor that was a very kawaii shade of pink. Before her, there was a hallway.

"What world has the star shard brought me to this time?" Jesyca wondered aloud. She then proceeded down the hallway, ever ready to combat the Heartless that she absolutely _knew _were lurking nearby.

She walked through the door at the end of the hall. Afterwards, she found herself in a room with a fireplace, a table and chairs, and so on. At the end of the room, there was a very tiny door. Even though Jesyca was super skinny, there was no way she could fit through it, plus she was too tall.

"Hmmm… I wonder what I must do to proceed?" she pondered out loud to herself in her beautiful voice.

"Ugh, you woke me up," sighed a voice.

"Nani? Who said that?" inquisitively inquired Jesyca.

"I did," replied the voice.

Jesyca looked down and saw that she was talking to, of all things, a doorknob.

"OMG, I am so tired," said the doorknob. "Drink from the bottle on the table." He then went back to sleep.

"Ok, Object-That-Is-Not-Supposed-To-Talk-san, I'll drink the random liquid that you instruct me to!" said Jesyca as she walked to the table and picked up the bottle. She opened it and drank from it, and it tasted just like ramen! All of a sudden, Jesyca shrank.

"Now I can fit through the door!" she cheerfully exclaimed. She tried to open it, but the doorknob wouldn't wake up and let her through. Instead, she used her expert investigative skills to find another exit behind a now-gigantic bed, and she went through it.

She passed through a hedge maze and a garden filled with roses, both red and white. Any normal person would have gotten lost in there, but not Jesyca! She found her way through those mazes with no trouble at all!

After awhile, she saw a clearing. There were card soldiers guarding an entryway into something. Jesyca approached them. Even though they were, you know, anthropomorphic freaking cards, Jesyca wasn't weirded out in the slightest.

"Hajimemashite," Jesyca greeted them. "My name is Jesyca Shouhu Erika Manuke. What is it that you are guarding?"

"This is the castle of the Queen of Hearts!" the card soldiers replied. "No intruders are allowed!"

"Aw, but what about me?" Jesyca asked. "I'm very cool and special, and I think you should let me through."

"Well, ok," replied the cards, as unlikely as that was. "You can go on through." They then moved out of Jesyca's way.

Jesyca entered the castle. The Queen of Hearts was sitting in a judge's chair, and was surrounded by card soldiers. Off to her side was a small, white rabbit. On the stand was a girl, who wasn't anywhere near as pretty as Jesyca, with blonde hair in a blue and white dress.

"Why am I on trial?" the girl asked the Queen of Hearts. "I haven't done anything!"

"Quiet, you ignorant fool," ordered the Queen of Hearts. "I know that you are the one, Alice, who tried to steal my memories!"

"What? Why would I steal your memories?" asked Alice.

"Hmm, looks like she's in trouble," said a voice behind Jesyca.

Jesyca turned around to see who was talking to her. It was a pink and purple striped cat with an enormous smile.

"Who are you?" Jesyca asked.

"I'm the Cheshire Cat," replied the cat.

"Oh, ok," replied Jesyca. "So, neko-san, tell me, what is going on here?" (A/N: neko is Japanese for cat! ^_^)

"The Queen of hearts believes that Alice tried to steal her memory, because the author of this totally cool story is too much of an uncreative dumbass to think of a unique scenario for this world," replied the Cheshire Cat.

"I see," replied Jesyca. "Well, I am supposed to be looking for the Heartless, and I have nothing to do with her, but I guess I'll try to help her to emphasize my _incredibly strong sense of justice."_

"Ok," replied the severely out-of-character Cheshire Cat. "I'll join your party and help you."

Jesyca and the Cheshire Cat walked forward.

"Who are you?" demanded the Queen of Hearts when she saw Jesyca. "I demand to know, you simpleton of a fool!"

"My name is Jesyca Shouhu Erika Manuke," replied Jesyca. "I think Alice is innocent, and that you should let her go."

"Silence, you ignorant moron,' said the Queen of Hearts. "Although you have no evidence whatsoever, I shall let Alice go. However… OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!"

All of a sudden, the card soldiers began attacking!

"Neko-san! Get Alice out of here!" Jesyca ordered the Cheshire Cat as she summoned her Keyblade.

"Ok Jesyca! I'm on it!" cheerfully replied the Cheshire Cat. He disappeared, and reappeared next to Alice. Then he grabbed her and disappeared again, taking her with him.

"You should know better than to mess with me!" exclaimed Jesyca as she began attacking the card soldiers with her Keyblade. They all tried to fight Jesyca, but she continued to expertly block each and every one of their attacks as she continued to strike them with her Keyblade.

All of a sudden, the Cheshire Cat reappeared. He had taken Alice somewhere safe, so now he could join in the fight. He was pretty good with magic, though nowhere near as good as Jesyca, so he could definitely help stop those card soldiers.

"Watera!" yelled Jesyca as she casted a Watera spell on a group of card soldiers, causing a large geyser to erupt from beneath them. She then finished off this group of card soldiers with a vicious combo of hits from her Keyblade.

The Cheshire Cat casted several Blizzard spells, freezing several card soldiers, which made it even easier for Jesyca to defeat them with her Keyblade.

"You ignorant dunces!" yelled the Queen of Hearts. "Stop them this instant! I, the Queen of Hearts, order you to do so, you moronic simpletons!"

After the card soldiers were defeated, Jesyca used Strike Raid on the Queen of Hearts by throwing her Keyblade at her like a boomerang.

"Ugh!" yelled the Queen of Hearts.

Just then, the Cheshire Cat took off his head and threw it at the Queen of Hearts. It exploded like a bomb, knocking her out. (A/N: She was still alive though. Isn't it great how I can use an author's note to say that instead of writing it? LOL!) Then his head reappeared on his shoulders.

"Let's go," said the Cheshire Cat.

"Ok," replied Jesyca.

The two of them then ran off into the Lotus Forest.


	9. Wonderland De Neko To Shouhu Wa Tabemasu

**A/N: OMG, stop flamming! If you dnot like my story, then do not reed it!11!1! There is no raison to be a asshole!11! Thnx 2 all the cool ppl for teling me my story is good and awesome. It hurts my glass ego when ppl say mean thingz on the internet, so i need ur asspats to keep me from crying myself to sleep at nite.**

Jesyca, the beautiful, sugoi, kawaii, and badass keyblade wielder, ran with the Cheshire Cat into the Lotus Forest. The two of them (but mostly Jesyca) had just saved Alice, who wasn't as pretty as Jesyca, from the wicked Queen of Hearts.

"So, neko-san, where did you put Alice when I instructed you to save her?" Jesyca asked the Cheshire Cat.

"I put her up ahead in the tea party garden," replied the Cheshire Cat. "It's a good thing you showed up, Jesyca. She would've been a goner if it weren't for you!"

"Yeah. I'm just really awesome and have an incredibly strong sense of justice, even though I'm incredibly self-centered and would see no problem with killing someone who made me mad," replied Jesyca.

All of a sudden, several Heartless appeared, likely at the instruction of the Queen of Hearts, even though she can't actually control the Heartless, but, since this is Jesyca's super cool story, it doesn't need to make sense or anything.

"Heartless!" exclaimed Jesyca as she summoned her Keyblade and took her battle pose. "The Queen of Hearts must have sent them to stop us!"

There were about fifty Heartless total in front of them, including Turquoise Marches, Soldiers, Shadows, Neoshadows, Red Nocturnes, Yellow Operas, Angel Stars, and Invisibles.

Jesyca wished she could just cast a Waterga spell, her widest-range one at a long distance, but she knew better since she was so intelligent, as it would only heal the Turquoise Marches. And she couldn't get in the middle of the group to just take them out with one of her powerful Aeroga spells, because Jesyca could totally take out fifty Heartless with one spell.

"Looks like I'll just have to defeat them all with my Keyblade," said Jesyca.

She lunged at a nearby Neoshadow and thrusted forward with her Crown of Guilt, destroying it instantly. She then did a spinning combo and took out a group of Shadows.

"I'll help you stop those Heartless, Jesyca!" cheerfully exclaimed the Cheshire Cat. He attacked a nearby Red Nocturne with his claws.

Jesyca expertly backflipped out of the way of a sword swipe from an Invisible, then blocked several energy blasts from a group of Angel Stars.

"Strike Raid!" she yelled as she threw her Keyblade like a boomerang at them, causing them to be destroyed instantly by this super powerful attack.

At this point, only a few Heartless were left. The Cheshire cat had taken out five, while Jesyca had defeated forty-three.

"Time to finish you bakas off," said Jesyca with a smirk. She did a powerful finishing combo with her Keyblade, defeating the Heartless.

"Way to go Jesyca!" cheerfully exclaimed the Cheshie Cat. "You're the best!"

"Yeah, I know," replied Jesyca. "Let us continue to the tea party garden where Alice is."

They then did that.

When they arrived at the tea party garden, Alice was already sitting at the table. As thanks to Jesyca for saving her, she had prepared them a lunch of sushi with some Japanese tea, as well as pocky for dessert. Jesyca and the Cheshire Cat sat down, and they all ate.

"This is good sushi," said Jesyca as she took a bite off of her chopsticks, which she happened to use to eat everything, even if it wasn't Japanese, because she's just so awesome like that. "It is not as good as if _I _had made it, of course, but it is still good."

"Oh! Thank you very much!" cheerfully beamed Alice at this amazing compliment from Jesyca, the coolest person ever.

"So, I guess we must stop the Queen of Hearts in order to make Wonderland safe," stated jesyca as she drank her Japanese tea. "Clearly, that must be why the star shard brought me here."

"Ok!" cheerfully exclaimed the Cheshire Cat. "Even though you have nothing to prove the statement you just made, I agree with you! The Queen of Hearts must be defeated!"

"Alice, you stay here," Jesyca ordered Alice as she stood up. "You'll be in my way, being such a not-as-pretty-as-me baka, so you have to stay here."

"Ok," said Alice with a big, cheerful, happy smile. Jesyca was just so cool and gorgeous in her opinion!

Jesyca and the Cheshire Cat then headed back to the castle of the Queen of Hearts. Fortunately, they didn't encounter any more Heartless along the way.

After a few minutes, they arrived at the castle. It was empty, except for the Queen of Hearts. She was still sitting in her judge's chair. She turned and glared at them as they entered.

"So, you ignorant fools, you have returned," sneered the Queen of Hearts. "I should have expected that moronic simpletons such as yourselves could not resist attempting to stop my evil plans to take over the universe."

"Yeah, I knew all about your plan," stated Jesyca, even though this severely OOC plan hadn't been mentioned until this point. "I'll never let you take over!" she sneered as she summoned her Keyblade.

"…Very well," replied the Queen of Hearts. "I, the Queen of Hearts, shall put an end to you ignorant dunces myself!" She raised her scepter with a red heart on the end over her head, and it began to glow. The whole sky turned dark, and the Queen of Hearts was wrapped in swirling black and purple darkness.

Jesyca took her battle position as a worried expression took hold on the Cheshire Cat's face.

"Don't worry, neko-san," Jesyca reassured him, "I'll be able to handle anything this baka bitch can try."

The Cheshire Cat felt better after Jesyca's reassurances.

When the darkness cleared, the Queen of Hearts had grown giant! In addition, her eyes were glowing and red, and her heart staff had grown long and the heart was glowing red and the staff was now covered in gold and all kinds of other stuff. (A/N: Her staff looked kind of like a combination of the Ultima Weapon Keyblade from Re:coded and Donald's most powerful staff from KH2 that I forget the name of, since I only own BbS, Re:coded, and 358/2 Days and am too stupid to use Google. LOL!)

"Now, Jesyca, I shall destroy you!" roared the Queen of Hearts.

"You can try!" angrily yelled Jesyca with determination as she rushed at the horrible creature!

**A/N: Is it gud? I need at least 4 good revues or I will not updatee, so u all need 2 giv gud reveiws! Aslo, dose n e 1 kno where I can find a PS2 and Kingdom Hearts and Kingdom Hearts 2? I am too stupid to just order n e of dese thingz off of amazon, and sense im a stupid little 16 year old, I dnot kno wat all happened in the old kh games, since I only discovered it in 2010 when BbS came out, like the majority of suetho… I mean REAL AUTHORS who write totes awesome stories like this 1. Remember, I need 4 gud reviews!111!1! R&R, ppl!11!11!**


	10. Even Pacing Is LAAAME

**A/N: OMG, quit flaming my story!111! If u dnot have something nice 2 say, then do not say such thingz!11!1! And Jesyca's name IS NOT Mary Sue or whatever your caling her!111! and jsut b/c i am nt old enuf too have kingdom hearts, chain od memoriez, and kh2, does NOT mean I am a sue author!11! I ma only 16, dats why ive only played re:coded, bbs, nd 358/2 Days, liie almost every1 else on dis site, and NONE of us are sue athors, so THERE!11!1 Thnx 2 all of teh cool ppl 4 giving me gud reveiws. i need more good 1's too help against th flamers, or i will not right any more!1! So R&R, ppl!11!1!**

"Take that, you fat baka bitch!" Jesyca shouted at the gigantic Queen of Hearts as she used Strike Raid on her by throwing her Keyblade, Crown of Guilt, at her like a boomerang.

It hit her staff, cracking the red heart at the end of it.

"No, you ignorant simpleton of a fool!" yelled the Queen of Hearts.

Great amounts of darkness began shooting out of the crack on the staff.

"Oh no!" cried the Cheshire Cat, who was very worried.

The Queen of Hearts then dropped her staff because of the powerful, deep darkness shooting out of it. It went spinning through the air and landed in the ground as it shrank to normal size, though it was still shooting out darkness and still had elaborate gold patterns and stuff on it.

The Queen of Hearts, after dropping her staff, shrank to normal size.

"No, I'm melting!" she yelled as she melted away, leaving only her ginormous red and black dress lying empty on the ground.

"Jesyca, what should we do?" fearfully asked the Cheshire Cat as he pointed towards the staff, which still had darkness blasting out of it.

"I'll stop it!" Jesyca declared heroically as she made her Keyblade disappear.

"Thanks Jesyca!" happily exclaimed the Cheshire Cat. "I know if anyone can do it, it's you!"

Jesyca valiantly began moving towards the staff, fighting against the powerful gusts of wind and darkness coming from it.

"Rrrgghh… I can almost… reach…" said Jesyca, still struggling towards the staff, her hands extended.

"You can do it Jesyca!" yelled the Cheshire Cat. "Everyone, even though I'm the only one here, believes in you!"

Finally, Jesyca managed to grasp the staff.

"I got it!" she yelled cheerfully.

All of a sudden, the darkness shooting out of it engulfed Jesyca, and she disappeared.

"Nani? What's this?" said Jesyca as she floated in the darkness. "Could this be one of those corridors of darkness which I have read of during my lifelong studies?"

Jesyca looked around for a few more minutes. All of a sudden, she saw a small, bright light.

"Nani? What is that light?" she wondered out loud as she proceeded towards it.

The next thing she knew, Jesyca was standing in a desert-like wasteland. Sand was blowing all around, so it was very difficult to see farther than a few feet.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" yelled Jesyca in her beautiful voice as she shielded her gorgeous, improbably-colored orbs from the dust and debris blowing about.

Jesyca fell to her knees.

"I have to get out of here," she said. "There is no one here to tell me I'm cool and beautiful!"

All of a sudden, her star shard began to glow in her pocket as a lone tear rolled down her gorgeous, pale cheek.

"I need people to reinforce my pathetic beliefs about myself…' whimpered Jesyca as the tear she had shed hit the ground. The second it did, the star shard carried Jesyca off in a zig-zagging blue light.

Jesyca landed in a small, entryway-like plaza. The sky was pitch black, and the nearby light fixtures looked somewhat spidery.

As Jesyca was looking around, she suddenly noticed that her clothes had changed!

"What is this?" she pondered. "My clothes must have changed with this world!"

Her beautiful, ebony black hair with pink tips was messier than normal. On top of her head, she was wearing a black, tattered-looking witch's hat. (A/N: It looks sort of like the sorting hat form the harry potter movies, but it doesn't have a face on it LOL!1! And I'm totes not using a lame-ass author's note to describe it because I don't possess the descriptive skills to simply write it!111! XP ) She had very dark eye makeup on, and she had vampire fangs. The sea green part of her silver heart-shaped necklace had turned black as the night sky. Her form-fitting sleeveless shirt looked the same, but it had turned completely black. Her black fingerless gloves now went up to her elbows, and they had a dark gray pentagram on the back of each hand. Her skintight black shorts and her black combat boots remained the same. Her half-skirt type thing, however, had turned black, and looked slightly tattered near the bottom.

"Wow, this is a very kawaii outfit," cheerfully said Jesyca. "I guess peoples' clothes change in this world. I wonder what kind of evil I am supposed to fight in this here?"

She then walked forward and proceeded through a gate into a far larger plaza. In the middle of the plaza, there was a fountain with green water. In addition, the was a head-choppy thingy nearby. (A/N: I totes didn't pay attention in history class, so I'm too stupid to know it's called a guillotine. ^_^ )

All of a sudden, numerous Heartless appeared! There were TONS of Creepworms, though there were quite a few Icy Cubes, Hover Ghosts, and even Living Pods, which are _extremely _powerful. (A/N: I HATE Living Pods!11!11!1! They always kill me in 358/2 Days!1!1! It's totally not b/c i suck though!111!)

Jesyca summoned her Keyblade like a total badass, then rushed at the crowd of Heartless!

**I'm enjoying how this is going so far. My criticisms of suethors are wide-ranging, and a lot of the time, some of you may not see where I'm coming from, especially with the more subtle shots I take. A not-so-subtle shot I took, however, seems to have gone over everyone's heads. I don't plan on breaking character in updates often, and this is likely the only time I will do so to explain something. I never said Birth by Sleep, 358/2 Days, or Re:coded **_**caused **_**surthors- they have **_**always **_**existed, even when the only game in the series was the original Kingdom Hearts. Trust me, I remember seeing them. If you look at demographics, the overwhelming majority of "authors" on this site are in the 11-16 range, meaning most of them aren't old enough to have played the older Kingdom Hearts games. I actually just noticed that this was misunderstood when I got a message, and when I finally read my reviews. Ordinarily, I read reviews every time I update, but I haven't had much time recently. Like I said, I just wanted to clear that up, since it was probably one of the more obvious shots I've taken. I don't intend on breaking character again in these updates, so you may have to just think for a second if you don't get something; trust me, I have made sure all of my criticisms make sense. Thanks again for reading.**


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